In an effort to understand how it feels to be listened to (or not listened to) try the following exercise. This lively and fun exercise is adapted from an active listening exercise at Criteria For Success.
The trainer should assign partners for this exercise or have the participants choose their own partners. One will be the speaker and one will be the listener. You will do two rounds using the same partners..
In the first round, the speaker is to share a customer concern with the partner (who could be a sales person, customer service agent, manager, etc.).
The twist here is that the job of the “listener” in this round is to do everything possible to ignore the speaker! End the activity after 90 seconds and then have participants reflect on it. Ask them–both speakers and listeners–how they felt during this exercise. Discuss the various feelings shared.
Next, move to round two. Repeat the scenario with the same people in the same roles. This time, however, the listener is to listen as if the speaker’s concern is the most fascinating thing they have ever heard. (You can expect some participants to really ham things up!)
End the activity after 90 seconds, and reflect on it as before. Ask how participants–again both speakers and listeners–felt this time. Make sure to address the differences in feelings between the two rounds.
We are confident you will discover that listening well not only means that the information is exchanged and understood, but that both the speaker and the listener feel better about the interaction.
Check back with participants occasionally to see how they’ve incorporated the experience into their various roles.